I provide in-person couples and individual therapy in Bellevue and tele-health throughout Washington State specializing in anxiety treatment, couples therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Couples Therapy.
Repair and strengthen emotional connection when distancing or conflict take hold.
Anxiety Therapy.
Learn to relate differently to worry, stress, panic, and overthinking so you are in charge of your life again and so that anxiety no longer runs and ruins your life.
ACT Approach.
Learn and build evidence based psychological flexibility skills to be more present in the moment and to take committed action toward the life you want.
Meet Joe Butler
Hi, I'm Joe Butler a licensed mental health counselor in Bellevue, WA.
I have over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples navigate anxiety, relationship struggles, and life transitions.
I’m trained in:
The Gottman Method
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Relational Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
Existential Therapy
Reaching out for help isn't easy. We're afraid people will judge us if they find out how messed up we really are. We judge ourselves for not being strong enough to fix our own problems in the first place.
So we start pretending. We pretend to be happier than we are, more successful than we are, stronger than we are. We get pretty good at it too. So good in fact that the pretending parts begin to take over and the real parts start to fade away. That's where the trouble begins and where I can help.
You don't have to become someone you're not in order to be happy. In fact, it's the other way around. Living fully only comes from bringing all of who you are to the life you currently have.
For more than two decades I have been helping people learn more about who they are (with their heads) so they can risk more of who they are (with their hearts). When you know how your head works and how your heart works, you can make you life work!
Learn more about my professional experience here.
Guest Lectures: University of Washington School of Social Work. Seattle University, Seattle Pacific University
Presentations: Seattle University Psychology for the Other Conference, Northwest Alliance for Psychoanalytic Study Forum
A Little About Therapy
FUNNY BUSINESS
People often wonder what therapy is actually like.
If I'm being honest, therapy is a funny business. Why in the world would anyone sit down with a complete stranger and tell them their life story? Why would someone share things with a therapist they wouldn't share with their closest friends or family?
Still, people do it. I've done it. And believe it or not -- it works.
After 25 years in the helping profession, I continue to be amazed by two things:
the courage people show as they take giant risks to reveal who they are, and
the capacity of the human heart to recover from the deepest hurts and make sense of the most profound pain
Whether you realize it or not you'll bring something essential with you to your very first therapy appointment -- the human instinct we all have that pushes us to grow. We have this in spite of our fear. Some part of us wants a richer and more meaningful life, even while we are afraid of what it can take to get us there.
BECOME MORE OF WHO YOU ARE, NOT LESS.
My greatest wish for you in therapy is that you become more of who you are, not less.
I believe that much of the pain you feel -- your anxiety, depression, loneliness, or anger is a signal that you aren't living the kind of life you want to be living.
Our attempts to manage that pain lead to avoidance strategies like hiding and pretending. The hiding and pretending keep us further away from a fuller life. This leads to more pain and then more avoidance strategies.
We get stuck in a cycle that limits us and makes us unhappy.
What if turning toward the pain was a way to get out of this cycle? What if a more authentic you was behind the hurt?
With understanding, courage, and a hopeful invitation we can be who we are and step out into the light of day. You might find that therapy does more than ‘ease pain.’ It gives pain meaning. and with that, it points you in the direction of a life with more possibilities than when you started.
My Approach
For individual therapy I integrate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), psychodynamic/relational psychotherapy, and existential psychology. This unique combination allows me to give you practical and evidence based interventions that can help ease suffering right away.
At the same time, we can take a deeper, more compassionate look at who and how you are — your hopes and dreams, fears and protections — all in an effort to create profound and lasting change.
For couples therapy I combine my level two training in the Gottman Method, my advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), and my ongoing study in an attachment and developmentally based couples therapy model called the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy.
I teach couples the skills they need to strengthen communication, deepen connection, and transform conflict. Skills aren’t much without practice, though, so in real time I’ll coach you and your partner on how to use the power of emotion (and a few of the right words!) to create a more secure attachment, repair hurts, and maybe laugh a little too…
Who I Work With
I provide couples therapy for folks who want relationships that work, last, and inspire. Do you feel:
stuck in the same repetitive conflicts
bored and emotionally distant from each other
lacking in fun, overlap, conversation, and ability to dream
disconnected after a strong start followed by years of growing apart
afraid of how to talk to your partner, unsure how to communicate without escalation
uninspired with the level of physical intimacy and closeness in your life
I provide individual therapy for adults longing to grow into a life they can actually love. Do you experience:
anxiety, chronic worry, panic attacks
confusion about life and job transitions
trouble clarifying what you value or defining the person you most want to be
burnout and work stress especially in this fast changing world of technology and AI promise/anxiety/uncertainty
loneliness, emptiness
impact from past traumas or family of origin dysfunction
questions about meaning, purpose, direction
lack of joy and fulfillment
Are you ready to begin?
Live a more balanced life in a demanding, screen focused, technologically accelerated world. I can help you:
Ease suffering from anxiety
Learn what holds you back from having a more meaningful, successful, and purpose driven life
Strengthen your marriage or relationship
