Beginning therapy doesn't have to be intimidating or mysterious.
how it works
I'll help you quickly feel safe and at ease.
From our first session together you can expect an environment of warmth, acceptance, and understanding. If you have any questions about therapy or about me, just ask! I'll try to answer them as simply and honestly as I can.
We'll pin point just what it is you want help with.
Believe it or not, many people come in knowing something's wrong but don't know exactly how to put it into words. I'll help you transform feelings to words and then to a plan of action. This might include what's going on now, what you've been through in the past, and what you hope for in the future.
I'll explain how I can help.
I'll give you an idea of how I see the problem -- obstacles that are in your way, the strengths you don't even realize you have, and how you can get moving back in the right direction. We can talk about goals for therapy and how we might reach them together. We'll go over how often and how long we might work together, insurance or payment questions, and any other details around the business of therapy.
Doubts or confusion about the therapy process are common.
Along the way it's common to have questions about where we are headed or feelings about me or the therapy in general. Your instinct may be to keep this to yourself. I can help you better if we address your feelings as they come up. Tracking, carefully understanding, and responding to your feelings (no matter what they are) is an essential part of the work. While difficult, I encourage you to be as transparent about your experience as possible.
Therapy doesn't have to be forever.
You are in charge of when you start and stop your therapy. Some find a few sessions helpful, others a few months, some stay a few years. Often times, people come for a while, take a break, and then return as needed. We can decide this together based on your need and desire.
the Promise of psychotherapy
I can’t promise that working with me will be without risk, pain, or vulnerability.
In fact, it's been my experience that taking risks, acknowledging and allowing pain, and being vulnerable are some of the most important things we can do to get to the 'heart of the matter' and to make the real changes we're looking for.
What I can promise is that living more fully happens when we allow the deepest parts of who we are to have a voice.
This is what gives life joy and meaning.
What Your First Session Might Be like
I see this tension play out often at the start of my work with people. First sessions in therapy often unfold like this:
Siting down carefully on the couch, you survey the new surroundings and look up cautiously.
Unsure about where to look exactly, you move your eyes from mine to the floor and back again as you think about where to start. You rehearsed this a few times at home but it feels different now -- a lot harder.
Before any words come out, you're overcome with emotion.
It's been a long time since you could just be yourself.
You've been holding it together forever; holding it together for your friends, for your co-workers, for your family, for your partner.
Pretending has been exhausting.
You feel relief as the powerful emotions you always knew were there begin to leak out, unexpectedly. This feels surprisingly good -- but it also feels scary and unfamiliar.
The bigger part of you wants to be reached. Even though you've become an expert at hiding, there's a hope inside you that 'being found' just might be worth the risk.
Anytime we try something new it can feel scary and unfamiliar. Growth and fear always go together.
We stop growing, though, the moment we let our fear trick us into believing that this smaller, carefully hidden version of ourself is all there is.
Become More Of Who You Are, Not Less.
My greatest wish for you in therapy is that you become more of who you are, not less.
I believe that much of the pain you feel -- your anxiety, depression, loneliness, or anger is a signal that you aren't living the kind of life you want to be living.
Our attempts to manage that pain lead to avoidance strategies like hiding and pretending. The hiding and pretending keep us further away from a fuller life. This leads to more pain and then more avoidance strategies.
We get stuck in a cycle that limits us and makes us unhappy.
What if turning toward the pain was a way to get out of this cycle? What if a more authentic you was behind the hurt?
We do this in therapy by:
noticing what we are experiencing instead of avoiding it
turning toward and understanding the undesirable parts of ourself we used to run away from
tending to these parts with acceptance and compassion
learning more about what we value, desire, and wish for
taking the action needed to move us toward what we really want in life
With understanding, courage, and a hopeful invitation we can be who we are and step out into the light of day.
How can I help? Schedule your first session or set up a free phone consultation.
Call 425.326.1690 or email
joe@joebutlertherapy.com